Adult Conversations

I'll be off to Bangkok tomorrow and I'm not exactly ready for my trip. I only got back home from base in the evening since I popped by my cousin's place to collect the DSLR camera for my trip. He wasn't at home since he's also serving National Service so I ended up chatting with my uncle for a full 2 hours. I think somehow, I have crossed that threshold where adults feel like they could actually talk with me about 'worldly' issues. Being the youngest one on both sides of the family tree meant that I'm always excluded from conversations, and as my grandmother had taught me, it's not polite to interrupt when adults are having conversations. Even now, whenever they have a conversation in front of me, I try my best to excuse myself because I consistently see myself as 'the-one-who's-not-supposed-to-be-in-the-conversation.' So, when my uncle sat me down to have a chat, I was quite taken aback. But it was all good, and somehow, I find myself opening up a little bit more and managed to express my opinions succinctly.

 

At the same time, it baffles me whenever my nieces and nephews, and I'm using that term loosely, do not have the social decorum to behave themselves whenever there are adults having conversations. It's also partly the reason why at family gatherings, I'm always in the corner with a book, because I think I would explode and slap a child if he/she were to interrupt whatever conversation I'm having with someone else.

 

My aunt will be having a family gathering at her place in Compassvale during the middle of the month and I'll be mounting duty by then I'm not exactly sure if I would like to actually apply for leave because then, it would affect my pretty, little, neat schedule and I am not very fond of messing up my own plans. Decisions, decisions that have to be made rather quickly since time seems to be moving at lightning speed these days. 

Simple Joys

I think there's something so satisfying as having breakfast for dinner because it defies convention and it's so, so good I'm gonna miss cooking me some scrambled eggs and chicken sausage and chicken ham and toasted bread with maple syrup when I start mounting for another week yet again. I used to hate eggs, and when I started to tolerate them, I really hated the gooey kind of scrambled eggs I needed them to be cooked thoroughly to the point of dryness. But I suppose as I grew older, I began to enjoy different things in life and began exploring gourmet food, and although scrambled eggs are the most basic form of anything, it took me 20 years of my existence to cook the perfect plate of fluffy, light scrambled eggs.

I also realised after today's training session that I have relatively good hand-eye coordination that allows me to be a decent player of sports whenever I partake in those activities. Granted I don't do much of them, but when I try out new sports, it's quick and easy for me to grasp. When I started with badminton all those years ago, it took me a few sessions to get a hang of it. And when I switched to recreational tennis, I was horrible, but at least I could hit those balls. Then there was basketball which I recently started dabbling in and after being so scared of the hoop, I actually managed to conquer my fear. We played dodge ball today and I was always the last few remaining players in the team and I managed to oust quite a number of opponents and it's a good feeling when those people are the very same people who are into sports and health and the kind. I'm sorry I can't help it that I'm competitive.

I'm going on a short getaway trip to Bangkok next week and I don't have much expectations of it since both my parents are going to be there as well. I am, however, looking forward to the duty-free shopping at Changi Airport. All those products, and too little time, I wonder how I'm ever going to be satisfied with my haul when we have to catch our flight to Bangkok.

Bounce In My Step

We had a mobilisation exercise conducted today which meant that we had to report to base within a specific time period in order to stimulate an incident whereby this country is attacked by red forces. It seems unlikely that that would happen so when we got the call to report back to base, we weren't too excited about it. Moreover, the only thing we did when we got back to base was to scan our identification cards and that's that. I'm one of the few people who live furthest away from the base, so the amount of time that it takes me to reach the base itself is at least five times the amount of time I actually spent being physically present there.

So, after this whole activation scenario, Shawn and me went to Rocky Masters The Choice Cafe near Raffles Hotel to have early dinner. It was a quiet little place that I always ass by but never tried out so I suggested that place to Shawn. I had breakfast for dinner and though the food wasn't excellent, it was filling and the ambiance was nice. It was a nice place with a mixture of comfortable sofas and low tables that's just begging me to visit again to lounge and have earl grey tea and read some magazines.

So, yesterday, I and Maya visited Naeem at her hall of residence at Nanyang Technological University. Maya had a long break before her last lecture at 6pm so she decided to pop by all the way from National University of Singapore whereas I had gotten back from base after a simulation shoot. It's our first time visiting Naeem at her dorm and thank goodness she is living alone. Otherwise it'll be awkward to have her roommate around whenever we drop by. I brought along the baked goodies I did the day before and we even called McDonalds since it was raining and we were too lazy to pop by any of the cafes nearby. We talked about school and rummaged through Facebook to look up the profiles of people whom we have no recollection of. It's funny how you can go to lecture for 2 years straight with these people and not remember their names and faces and having to identify and relegate them to 'loud girl who always sleeps' or 'too thin girl with unstable walk.'

After Maya left, I stayed behind and had the longest talk of my life with Naeem. It's been a while since we've talked face to face and it's good to finally be able to do that. We talked about our deepest most feelings, how we really are scared for the future and how it's going to be like. How we don't want to be suppressed by familial expectations(her fear) and how much we yearn to break free, start afresh, and leave everything and everyone behind and never looking back(me). It's gratifying to reveal what you're thinking to another person and know that you're not getting judged for it. I eventually left for home with a lighter feeling, with a bounce in my step, and to a very good and long night's sleep.

Sandwiched Chocolate Chips Oreo Cookies & XXL Chocolate Chips Cookies

 

After thinking for a few days, I decided to forgo the Accidentally Into Food blog, and instead, incorporate my baking adventures into this personal blog. Part of the reason is because I only bake sporadically so it doesn't make sense to have a dedicated blog that's only going to be updated once a while. Also, there are a lot of food blogs out there with marvellous people behind them, who put their time and effort to invent new recipes, and I'm just a college kid who's trying to have a little fun baking.  

I was browsing through the web and I came across this one recipe from Picky Palate. I've decided to rename it Sandwiched Chocolate Chips Oreo Cookies, because it's literally just that. I actually met up with Erfi yesterday, so after zipping around town eating ice-cream and driving around the city area, we made a pit stop at the supermarket to get certain items. Let me tell you, butter and chocolate chips are hella expensive. I'd probably have to set aside a portion of my allowance if I'm going to continue baking, which I probably am.

 

 

It's a relatively easy recipe to make, and ever since I got my new electric mixer, mixing all these ingredients have gotten a lot simpler. It feels old school to use a mixer, and I'm totally loving that vibe. I was quite apprehensive since the cookie dough was quite sticky when I mixed all the ingredients together, so I panicked for a moment before deciding to forgo the exact measurements, and make this cookie by "feeling", as my aunt used to do. I suppose the "feel" was right since the cookie came out looking good and tasting delicious. 

I made 27 of those Sandwiched Chocolate Chips Oreo Cookies since I only bought a box of those oreo cookies. Plus, the recipe actually made a whole lot more of those cookie dough than needed so I had a surplus of cookie dough. It didn't occur to me that I could make regular chocolate chip cookies as I headed to go to the supermarket but as I were about to leave the house, I had an epiphany. Thus, the XXL Chocolate Chip Cookies were born.

These were really good. They were crumbly and crunchy and the perfect companion for tea. They're jumbo sized since I was extremely lazy to make small bite-sized ones and because I'd wanted to spend the rest of my Sunday reading my fashion magazines. Oh, what a wonderful Sunday it has been.

A Very Dark Place

Whenever I read the blogs of some of my friends and acquaintances, I feel like I'm stuck in a rut with nowhere to go. I had a conversation with Gary a few months back about how everyone else seems to be moving forward, and we are stuck serving the remainder of our conscription service. It just doesn't seem fair that the girls get to move on with their life, and I'm doing nothing, waiting for time to pass by. I know that it's what every single male person has to go through, but it's just not a good feeling at all. Whereas some of my friends are in England, Canada, Australia and even Norway, I'm left wondering when my time will come.

Because I went to junior college, my parents had always expected me to go to the local university. It's not that local university is bad. In fact, it's ranked quite favourably against some of the world's top universities, but I have never envisioned myself going to one. Perhaps it's because my mind has been filled with imagery of American and English universities from pop culture, or because of the fact that I've visited my sister countless of times when she was studying at the University Of Queensland, I feel like it was my destiny to go out there in a foreign country, explore every nook and cranny and discover myself. I feel like the opportunity to live in a foreign country would be fully utilised by me because I won't be calling home crying because I miss the people back home. I would have been too busy checking things out and making sure that I leave no stone unturned.

Don't get me wrong. I am grateful for the fact that I got a placement at Nanyang Technological University to study Communication Studies. But I can't help but feel shortchanged by my parents for their constant expectations of having me study in Singapore. My sister went overseas because her grades weren't good enough for local university, and my parents readily supported her. Those very things were the ones that hampered my dream to study overseas.

Next year, my sister is going back to Australia to get her Master's degree. My mother is helping her pay for her lodging and other miscellanous. I think that's completely irresponsible because I know that the money being channelled to my sister was originally meant for me, and because I'm getting subsidies for being a local student, that floating income is being funnelled to my sister. I would have liked for that money to be saved for me, when I go overseas in the future. I did not study hard in junior college just so that I could be shortchanged. Is this the reward for being a better student than my sister ever was? Is this the reward for all those late night study sessions at Starbucks, not going home until the first light breaks through the horizon?

I don't think so. Maybe that's the reason why I demand so much from my parents now. It's coming from a very dark place. A place where I'm always comparing and never feeling satisfied. It's probably the reason why I never want to have children. I don't think I have the heart to shortchange my future children of anything. What kind of a parent are you when you deny your child of opportunities that they should have grabbed? What kind of a parent are you when you know that your child yearns to break free, yet you are saddling them down to roots that they'd rather have chopped away?

I may never be truly satisfied with my life until I ultimately break away from the confines of relationships that bind me and cause me to sink to the bottom of the ocean floor. Sometimes, I wish I'd have the ability to choose my own family because it will make life so much easier. That's probably why I'm closer to friends that to people who share the same blood as me. That's also probably the reason why when I'm gone, I would truly be gone.

Accidentally Into Food

I watched Rock Of Ages with A today after giving him a call last night. Because we're the only people in our group of friends who's free on Friday, we decided to meet in the afternoon to exploit the student-priced tickets at the cinema. A and I practically have a similar schedule so it's easy to meet up with him as compared to the rest of my friends. I've not seen G for the longest time and it's so difficult to get a hold of him, since he's either busy with consription, or buffing up his arts portfolio.

Rock Of Ages is the kind of movie you watch because it's easy to digest and everything skims on the surface. It was a 'pop' movie despite being marketed as this 'rock and roll' gritty movie. Russell Brand is annoying he has a difficulty in differentiating his real-life persona and whatever character he's supposed to be portraying. The gay subplot, for once, was not needed and I think it's just the director's need to be inclusive which ended up backfiring because it seems forced, lackdaisical, and ultimately offensive because the gay couple ended up being a parody of the gay lifestyle.

In other news, in view of my moving away to university next year, I was thinking of things that would get me to stay connected to home and come back every weekend. Considering how small this country is, where you can get from one end of the city to the other in one hour, it seems like this plan might work out. I'm coming home to do something I love, and then returning back to my future dorm with goodies. So with that, presenting Accidentally Into Food, a baking and food blog I've started. There's really nothing there for now, but I'd thought I'd save the domain name first. I've got a few recipes lined up over the weekend to try out so it'll be filled up in no time.

Scream For Ice-Cream

The food in base was horrible the moment I returned back from my sabbatical I went out and had dinner at Holland Village at Hatched. Holland Village is just this quaint neighbourhood that has a brilliant mix of high-end residential condominiums and old-school walk-up apartments it's a good place to walk around and explore, and with names like Jalan Kelabu Asap (Charcoal Grey Road) and Jalan Merah Saga (Blood Red Road) intersecting one another, it's a really cool place to hang out and chill and get on with life.

What's really cool about Holland Village is also that they have this small little independent baking goods store that's European-chic you go in wanting to buy everything, leave with nothing, but reach home pinning for something until the moment you go to bed. Considering that it's relatively easy to commute to the area because of the circle line, I'd probably be heading down to the area more often.

Coming back from dinner, an incident happened in base that was part of the whole dynamics to ensure that we stay vigilant but I saw it coming from a million miles away. How can one fool the master of deception? It's sad to see people scramble and caught off guard but I guess it's because these people are all too familiar with the powers that be that they never ever guard themselves against any surprises that could be thrown at their faces.

Despite the surprise, it was a pleasant week as we sat in bed contemplating about our future in our shared room on the bunk beds with the air-conditioning at full blast and the blankets covering our toes. I feel that when boys open up, we actually let the flood gates open so wide it'll take a garagantuan effort to stop the onslaught of emotional waves. Or at least until we're done talking. It's eye-opening to see alpha males open up about their hopes and fears and everything in between.