It seems as though I owe it to myself to write a self-reflecting post to cap off this passing year. However, try as I might, it's difficult to contain all that has happened throughout the year into one single entry. Many things have happened, be it a global event that has catastrophic ripple effects, to things that occurred that has affected me personally.
December was an emotional month for me. The Sandy Hook Elementary School Shooting affected me in ways I never thought possible. Friends know that I am not fond of children, but watching the news and seeing the devastation that occurred was just heart wrenching. The eulogies being read out by the parents, siblings, and relatives of those little lives lost were very emotional. They could have been someone, I keep telling myself. Six years on Earth is a really short time to live. Maybe that's why I'm so affected.
Other than that, as usual, I am torn about faith. It's such a scary thing because it's something I was taught to believe in, and for me to consistently question it somehow scares me because I don't want to not believe; to be a cynic, and be in a state of anti-religion, but so many things happened and it's such a sensitive issue to talk to people about. I hope my mind clears up because I think my curiosity about the ultimate path to salvation results in me questioning everything that I believe in.
2012 has been a year that got me to question who I am, and what I want to be. I am so much more comfortable with who I am as a person, and who my friends are. When I wake up tomorrow, it's going to be a new year, one that will definitely be filled with new school, new friends, and new adventures. Yes, 2013 will be filled with adventures and I'm going to colour my life with all these new experiences, so that one day, when I look back, I would have known that I had actually lived a life.