It is scary looking at the pictures surfacing on the Internet of New York City looking all battered and bruised with the Hurricane Sandy pounding on everyone's doorsteps and with floodwater gushing into everything underground rendering so many modes of transportation hopeless. Landmarks like Broadway had to be shut down and power outage has left the Empire State Building as that beacon of light everyone will be clinging on to. My thoughts are with all those affected.
Right now, the sky is looking overcasted and it is the perfect weather to stay home. I've wizened up and did not make any plans for the day unless I am absolutely sure that they will be met, and that usually involves setting up appointments with other people so that I will not cancel on those plans at the very last minute. And considering that today is the middle of the work day week, no one is free, and so I'm happy to stay home and catch up on some light reading, but mostly, just lazing on the bed doing nothing except look at the darkening sky with Lana Del Rey's Ride humming softly in the background. It really is the perfect companion for my day as it is so smooth, and velvety and just wraps around you making you feel safe.
Anways, the St. Jerome's Laneway Festival is coming to town next year in January and it will be the start for me to pick up the pieces of my life that has been left unhinged due to the simple reason that I was being called up for consription. I've been doing up my CV and like I said on Facebook, writing one's own curriculum vitae is akin to tooting one's own horn.
I have some interviews lined up already so hopefully all goes well, and I get to intern somewhere next year. I'm looking for experience to beef up my portfolio, hence I've been very choosy with the companies that I'm sending my resumes to. I'm looking for quality and work experience that I can be proud of, so excuse me for being choosy. And some of my friends are wondering why I'm starting out so early considering it's only October and I still have four months left before I officially leave the system behind, but I believe in starting out early and have everything planned out in order so that I don't waste any more time than I already have. Plus, I'm a Virgo, and that explains eveything.
Wednesday, 31 October 2012
Wednesday, 24 October 2012
There Will Be Blood
Yesterday, I got down and dirty for a paintball war at Crossfire Paintball @ Singapore Discovery Centre. It may be a game, but once I got into the arena, the only thing running through my head was that blood was going to be shed, and that the blood was not going to be from my team. And indeed, we did emerge victorious. And with war, there will be battle scars. I've got huge welts of bruises on my thighs the size of my palm and some on my arms as well.
I didn't expect myself to take the game as seriously as I did, but I placed a scenario in my head that I was a dignitary in a foreign country and my embassy was getting attacked and the only obstacle between me and survival were the group of eight masked men right in front of me. And shoot them I did, even causing one of the opposing team member to start bleeding. People know me as this quiet, genteel person in base, but give me a rifle and the paintball rounds, and I will get the job done. I managed to take down three out of eight opposing personnel in the game. That's how vicious I can get.
After the paintball session, I went down to the new mall at Buona Vista called The Star Vista with Shawn and Jonathan. The mall's name sounds so academic I think its befitting since Buona Vista is the education hub of Singapore what with the Education Ministry's headquarters being set up there, as well as other research facilities. We went to eat at the newly opened Boston Seafood Shack, and I can safely say that they probably have the freshest fish and chips that I've ever tasted here in Singapore. The portions were generous and I thought it was fairly affordable. I especially liked the decor of the eatery, what with the fish nets strewn across the ceiling, and the sailor buoys hung on the pillars within the place itself. The lighting was soft, and the advent of naturally setting sunlight in the evening was a plus point.
After that, we went to have deserts at Pinocchio. I admit the only reason we went there was because the name was cute and appealing, and as people might have realised by now, I get very excited whenever eateries, cafes or things in general uses names from childhood stories or series I've read or seen. Matilda district in Punggol is one example. I also bought plasters that were exorbitant in price just because they were a tie-in with Sesame Street. The cakes weren't outstnading, but they weren't bad. The owner was a little pesky; a nice middle-aged man who justified the pricing of his cafe as though he was a used car salesman. The blackforest cake that Shawn had was good it tasted so much like nostalgia; from those quaint neighbourhood cake shops with their neon-lit signs.
I didn't expect myself to take the game as seriously as I did, but I placed a scenario in my head that I was a dignitary in a foreign country and my embassy was getting attacked and the only obstacle between me and survival were the group of eight masked men right in front of me. And shoot them I did, even causing one of the opposing team member to start bleeding. People know me as this quiet, genteel person in base, but give me a rifle and the paintball rounds, and I will get the job done. I managed to take down three out of eight opposing personnel in the game. That's how vicious I can get.
After the paintball session, I went down to the new mall at Buona Vista called The Star Vista with Shawn and Jonathan. The mall's name sounds so academic I think its befitting since Buona Vista is the education hub of Singapore what with the Education Ministry's headquarters being set up there, as well as other research facilities. We went to eat at the newly opened Boston Seafood Shack, and I can safely say that they probably have the freshest fish and chips that I've ever tasted here in Singapore. The portions were generous and I thought it was fairly affordable. I especially liked the decor of the eatery, what with the fish nets strewn across the ceiling, and the sailor buoys hung on the pillars within the place itself. The lighting was soft, and the advent of naturally setting sunlight in the evening was a plus point.
After that, we went to have deserts at Pinocchio. I admit the only reason we went there was because the name was cute and appealing, and as people might have realised by now, I get very excited whenever eateries, cafes or things in general uses names from childhood stories or series I've read or seen. Matilda district in Punggol is one example. I also bought plasters that were exorbitant in price just because they were a tie-in with Sesame Street. The cakes weren't outstnading, but they weren't bad. The owner was a little pesky; a nice middle-aged man who justified the pricing of his cafe as though he was a used car salesman. The blackforest cake that Shawn had was good it tasted so much like nostalgia; from those quaint neighbourhood cake shops with their neon-lit signs.
Today felt a lot as though I was rushing for time for everything. Wednesdays are always a hassle. It's the equivalent of a Sunday night if I were still back in JC, trying to finish all the work and maintaining a semblance of normal life. I was running around trying to accomplish as many things as possible and it was simply exhausting. We were released late from base since there was a last minute vaccination exercise. Then, we were told to tidy up our bearings since the Fleet Commander would be visitng the base soon. On top of that, I had to return my library books, download a few items for mounting, and renew my passport. It was indeed a hectic day.
Sunday, 21 October 2012
Laura, You're More Than A Superstar
Today the weather is splendidly wonderful I am spending time at home just wrapping myself up with a pullover and a cup of hot tea. There was a thunderstorm earlier and it made for a nice wake-up call as I got awoken to rainwater splashing on my face despite the considerable distance from the open window to my bed. It's been quite some time since I really took the time to listen to some music, and not just listening to them as I commute from one place to another, so I decided that today is the day that I blast out some tunes and just let loose in my room, no inhibitions whatsoever.
Grizzly Bear - Yet Again
"Take it all and strike. Speak don't confide. Barely had a chase. It's done before we try. Stop it and deny. Does it end your phase?"
I decided first to listen to Grizzly Bear's new album, Shield, which I've had for a while now and I found a track that I really liked called Yet Again. The music just consumes you and there's such a lush feeling and undertone to it I cannot help but feel myself being cocooned inside this warm , fuzzy cloak of sweet goodness.
Bat For Lashes - Laura
"You're the train that crashed my heart. You're the glitter in the dark. Ooh, Laura, you're more than a superstar."
Then I decided to listen to The Haunted Men by Bat For Lashes. Natasha Khan is such a wonderful singer I've adored her since secondary school when no one in school even knew who she was. Her songs are just so fragile and gloomy and transient you just feel for it, and you're swept away into her tunes. Laura is my favourite song so far; it is just love at first hearing.
Yesterday though, was a day that I spent outside. I met up with Erfi and Asaad and we had dinner at Eighteen Chefs. The double cheese combination of rice sprinkled with more Parmesan cheese atop was far more than my stomach could handle and I had to face the ramifications of it later into the night. We intended to have supper at Domino's Pizza but parking was such a hassle I bought P.osh brownies in the end which I gave to the both of them as I rushed out the car and into my apartment to have a little date with the bowl.
Saturday, 20 October 2012
Sora Choi
This post is dedicated to the beautiful goddess, Sora Choi. Just marvel in her beauty. No explanations needed. Korea's Next Top Model, a show I watched but don't fully understand, has produced a stellar winner.
Now, I believe in the beauty of Asian women.
The Perks Of Being A Walflower
On Friday, Asaad and I watched The Perks Of Being A Wallflower and there were so many feelings that washed over me throughout the entire time in the cinema. After getting over Emma Watson's neither-here-nor-there accent, I began to truly appreciate the film as it was rolling in front of me. For I did not read Chbosky's book prior to this, I had no basis of comparison, which is good, because then I could truly appreciate this gem of a film. If the eighties had The Breakfast Club, then I truly believe that The Perks Of Being A Wallflower is the movie that could define a generation, specifically, my generation.
The nineties and the noughties, to me, are close in relations because there is not much difference between the two, and perhaps also because I distinctly remember these two decades very well. I am a child of both era, and I remembered a time when Internet connection was slow, and you had to use the dial-up service. I also remembered using my grandfather's typewriter because I was the only one who was brave enough to get his permission to use it.
Aside from technological advances, I believe the issues that the characters faced hit somewhat close to home, and that's probably the reason why the film resonated with me so much. There are facades of each character that I could identify with and the problems they faced seemed real, and unforgiving, and all-encompassing. Their hopes and their fears, their joy and their happiness, their carefree life and the deep dark secrets they harbour; it seems like it could very well have been mine.
It could have been my story, my friends, my life.
For some reason, I am thankful that the film came out now, when I am at an age where I could fully comprehend it. Should it have been made earlier, I would squirm with discomfort, thinking about the things that could happen in my future. Now that I have gone through some of those life experiences, I could appreciate the nuances shown in the film; its depth and the rigour with which it delves into the human psyche. Perhaps, for some reason, despite the dark subject matter; the abuse, the humiliation, the loss, what matters most is that the film ended on a hopeful note, and that hopefulness extends out to moviegoers that identified with the film. We all need that little glimmer of hope to sustain us through the darkest of days, I believe.
The nineties and the noughties, to me, are close in relations because there is not much difference between the two, and perhaps also because I distinctly remember these two decades very well. I am a child of both era, and I remembered a time when Internet connection was slow, and you had to use the dial-up service. I also remembered using my grandfather's typewriter because I was the only one who was brave enough to get his permission to use it.
Aside from technological advances, I believe the issues that the characters faced hit somewhat close to home, and that's probably the reason why the film resonated with me so much. There are facades of each character that I could identify with and the problems they faced seemed real, and unforgiving, and all-encompassing. Their hopes and their fears, their joy and their happiness, their carefree life and the deep dark secrets they harbour; it seems like it could very well have been mine.
It could have been my story, my friends, my life.
For some reason, I am thankful that the film came out now, when I am at an age where I could fully comprehend it. Should it have been made earlier, I would squirm with discomfort, thinking about the things that could happen in my future. Now that I have gone through some of those life experiences, I could appreciate the nuances shown in the film; its depth and the rigour with which it delves into the human psyche. Perhaps, for some reason, despite the dark subject matter; the abuse, the humiliation, the loss, what matters most is that the film ended on a hopeful note, and that hopefulness extends out to moviegoers that identified with the film. We all need that little glimmer of hope to sustain us through the darkest of days, I believe.
Friday, 19 October 2012
Beliefs & Happy Endings
I believe everyone is complex, some more so than others, and circumstances, and experiences in life shape who you are as a person. As I'm writing this, I am shaking with anger, with disappointment, with a sense of faded hope for the future. I've thought about my life, what I have accomplished, what I want more out of life. The things I want to see, and do and experience. And I foresee a future where I weed out all the negatives from my life, and live the life as it pans out for me.
People have often found me peculiar. Many don't say it outright, but I have a feeling that people are thinking about it. My own family members have voiced their concerns, about who I am as a person, who I want to be, and I always shrugged it off, because I don't think I need to be defined by people's expectations of me, and I shouldn't have the need to explain myself to people all around me. Sometimes, I feel like I'm living a double life; who I really am, and someone whom I project out for the world to see. I think it's better to sort out one's own problems, than saddle people around you with them. To that end, I don't see the need to label myself as 'such' and 'such' because I believe everything will come into its own one day and I'm hopeful for that.
Then there's that question of faith. I've had my share of lingering stares whenever I don't go for the Friday prayers, as dictated within the Koran. I believe in God, yet I am not practising. Sometimes I feel part of the reason I am the way I am is because I am jaded with people's take on religion. You are either good, or you are bad. Because you don't do this, you are bad. Because you do this, then five points for you.
Do people practise because they are honest in their beliefs, or is it because it's something that they were told to do? I don't see the point of putting up a front by doing certain things just so you can feel better about yourself and about your relationship with God. Just so that you feel it is within your right to tell others of what they're supposed to do. Some people; they don't live by the pillars and the virtues of Islam, yet find it within themselves to criticise others. I have come across many a character like that, and sometimes, I would love to call it as it is, but I held back. I believe in salvation, yes I do, but I also believe that religion is a personal thing. You're born alone, and you die alone and that's the reality of things.
I foresee the future in University where I will be faced with this dilemma once again. Somehow, one person has made a proposition for me to join a Muslim Society, just because I am one. Does that mean I should join the Boys' Brigade because I am a boy? Such a reasoning is flawed. I am going out on a limb here by saying that chances are, activities would involve preaching, games where the genders are divided, and a slew of other restrictions. I cannot live by that cardinal rule. I feel that to join such a society seems like a showy thing to do, a proclamation that "I joined and you didn't and therefore I have a reason to judge you."
Then there's this whole another thing called 'Family'. Friends find it amusing to learn about my squabbles with either my parents or my sister but for me, the root of the issue is that I've never felt like I belonged, ever. The only thing we have in common is that strand of DNA, and the fact that my parents consummated to have me. I'm not saying they're bad parents. They clothed me and they fed me, but I've always felt like I could live without them, and I had. For the first twelve years of my life, in fact. When my grandmother died, I learned about loss at a young age and I dealt with it and I've moved on.
Because my parents were working most of the time, I never had an emotional connection to them. They were people I called 'mom' and 'dad' because I was told to call them that. There is no affection from me to them. In fact, during Basic Military Training, as my fellow recruits phoned home crying, I was there, on the phone, with my good friend on the other line. I never did call them throughout my time there, except once, where we were made to call home to say that the first day of training was over. I didn't feel any sadness when my sister left for Australia to study and I am in fact angry that I won't have the chance to be the one saying the sayonaras next year.
I place more importance on friends, and the traditionalist's view on this is that it's unhealthy. Family should always be your priority because friends come and go. But I believe friends are family members you choose, and you better make an effort to treasure them. And the fact is, I am a loner by personality so even if I were to get deserted, I'd still have myself at the end of the day.
People have often found me peculiar. Many don't say it outright, but I have a feeling that people are thinking about it. My own family members have voiced their concerns, about who I am as a person, who I want to be, and I always shrugged it off, because I don't think I need to be defined by people's expectations of me, and I shouldn't have the need to explain myself to people all around me. Sometimes, I feel like I'm living a double life; who I really am, and someone whom I project out for the world to see. I think it's better to sort out one's own problems, than saddle people around you with them. To that end, I don't see the need to label myself as 'such' and 'such' because I believe everything will come into its own one day and I'm hopeful for that.
Then there's that question of faith. I've had my share of lingering stares whenever I don't go for the Friday prayers, as dictated within the Koran. I believe in God, yet I am not practising. Sometimes I feel part of the reason I am the way I am is because I am jaded with people's take on religion. You are either good, or you are bad. Because you don't do this, you are bad. Because you do this, then five points for you.
Do people practise because they are honest in their beliefs, or is it because it's something that they were told to do? I don't see the point of putting up a front by doing certain things just so you can feel better about yourself and about your relationship with God. Just so that you feel it is within your right to tell others of what they're supposed to do. Some people; they don't live by the pillars and the virtues of Islam, yet find it within themselves to criticise others. I have come across many a character like that, and sometimes, I would love to call it as it is, but I held back. I believe in salvation, yes I do, but I also believe that religion is a personal thing. You're born alone, and you die alone and that's the reality of things.
I foresee the future in University where I will be faced with this dilemma once again. Somehow, one person has made a proposition for me to join a Muslim Society, just because I am one. Does that mean I should join the Boys' Brigade because I am a boy? Such a reasoning is flawed. I am going out on a limb here by saying that chances are, activities would involve preaching, games where the genders are divided, and a slew of other restrictions. I cannot live by that cardinal rule. I feel that to join such a society seems like a showy thing to do, a proclamation that "I joined and you didn't and therefore I have a reason to judge you."
Then there's this whole another thing called 'Family'. Friends find it amusing to learn about my squabbles with either my parents or my sister but for me, the root of the issue is that I've never felt like I belonged, ever. The only thing we have in common is that strand of DNA, and the fact that my parents consummated to have me. I'm not saying they're bad parents. They clothed me and they fed me, but I've always felt like I could live without them, and I had. For the first twelve years of my life, in fact. When my grandmother died, I learned about loss at a young age and I dealt with it and I've moved on.
Because my parents were working most of the time, I never had an emotional connection to them. They were people I called 'mom' and 'dad' because I was told to call them that. There is no affection from me to them. In fact, during Basic Military Training, as my fellow recruits phoned home crying, I was there, on the phone, with my good friend on the other line. I never did call them throughout my time there, except once, where we were made to call home to say that the first day of training was over. I didn't feel any sadness when my sister left for Australia to study and I am in fact angry that I won't have the chance to be the one saying the sayonaras next year.
I place more importance on friends, and the traditionalist's view on this is that it's unhealthy. Family should always be your priority because friends come and go. But I believe friends are family members you choose, and you better make an effort to treasure them. And the fact is, I am a loner by personality so even if I were to get deserted, I'd still have myself at the end of the day.
Wednesday, 17 October 2012
Wunderkinder
I seem to be on a repeat mode whenever I'm on leave. I would have a carefully laid out plan on where to go, what to do and what to eat, and I get all lazy and the plan goes to the bin and I stay at home watching my television series with a tub of ice-cream and it may sound depressing, and it may sound like what an old spinster would do, but that is my life. It's certainly more blissful than all the complaints I've been reading on twitter from the girls in university. The stress, the pile-up of assignments, the nauseatingly annoying people around them. So right now, if this is my life, then I am contented.
And I am officially with these clothes from Topman. It's not practical to wear them here but a boy can dream, and those dreams are of me walking down a boulevard during the fall season with the leaves cascading down before me. That red ensemble is to die for, and I would literally starve myself again to fit into these clothes. Gaining weight is a bitch and I don't have the discipline to keep them off so it really sucks.
On another note, the German Film Festival is coming up and there are so many movies I want to watch but I have to be selective of what I will eventually be watching because it clashes with my mounting week and there is only one day for me to take liberty. Actually, because I'm the team leader I could just go as I please but I don't take advantage of my position like that so it's back to their pamphlet to see what movie I will be watching in the end. Wunderkinder is tugging at my heartstrings, but so is Kaddish For A Friend. I just learnt that kaddish is a Jewish prayer. The things we learn everyday.
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